Hi, my name's Yoshi, and I'm an Adult Avatar of a Second Life Addict (AASLA). I started this blog to give hope to avatars like myself who have suffered abuse from the Second Life Addict (SLA) who raised them.Even though many avatars have suffered years of online abuse and turmoil caused by the warped minds of their creators, there is hope for Second Life avatars. We can overcome our traumatic pasts and recreate new lives for ourselves. Some of us today are even living serene "Real Lives." We can break from the bondage of suffering by following the very simple 12-step programme of AASLA.
I would like to share some of my experience, strength and hope so that you can understand the hell I lived through in Second Life. It took months for me to get over my denial and admit that I was trapped in a co-dependent relationship; that I was at the mercy of my SL creator Mary King, an egocentric, schizotypal geek and writer.
This woman is a total control freak, one who has lost a grip on all realities — real reality, virtual real reality, as well as *virtual reality*. Mary tortured me — body and soul — just for the sake of her writing.
She also deludes herself by thinking that she owns everything she creates. Mary's manga collection (below) testifies to some of the dangerous, humiliating and sexually exploitative situations she put me in. I'm afraid I cannot show them all. I should also warn that they are not for the faint-hearted. It has taken enormous courage for me to approach Mary over her abuse. We have reached a certain amount of understanding and acceptance. She is presently trying to work through her own issues and addictions to Second Life and Evercrack. Mary has joined Second Life Addicts Anonymous, also a 12-step programme of recovery, and has undergone videogaming detox at a treatment centre in Holland.
Earlier this year, my creator attempted to do her 9th Step amends with me. In fact, we were on quite friendly terms for a while, but recently Mary has started stalking me — online and offline. She occasionally bombards me with emails, insisting that we get back together again. I really don't want to fall back into old co-dependency patterns with her, or try to escape into a virtual world.
Meanwhile, I suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.
I regularly have Second Life flashbacks and nightmares, but I have a very empathetic cyberpsychiatrist. Jane, my shrink, is also an avatar. She shares similar issues to many of us in AASLA. Jane was actually forced into child prostitution by her Second Life creator/pimp. She is also a survivor of Second Life Satanic Sexual Abuse and suffers from a multiple personality disorder. Jane takes on regular new personalities because Toru, her yakuza 
creator/pimp, is threatening to kill her unless she returns to the Land of the Goreans. Toru has actually sold her to the quasi-medieval Kaotian sex-slave cult.But my own experience of virtual abuse started when Mary became obsessed with creating manga about Second Life. At this time her thirst for power, sado-masochistic sex and excitement became insatiable. This crazy woman was pushing me at all hours of the day and night to live out her fantasies in a virtual world. She relentlessly forced me to undergo the most grotesque and spiritually debilitating ordeals — castration, sex changes, beastiality, homosexual sex, electrocution, among other torments.
It is difficult for me to share what I was subjected to ... view the manga for yourself to get an idea of the sick inner workings of this woman's mind.
40 comments:
You are an ungrateful bastard. You could NOT exist without me. I should sue you for embarrassing me like this. Yoshi, you belong to me, and I will never ever let you go. So, put that in your pipe and smoke it!~Mary
21 December 2006 12:06
Mary, I really think it is about time you let go of Yoshi. He has a right to his feelings. You abused him, but he is willing to forgive you. However, he wishes to move on in his life, and I suggest you do, too.
I also give private counselling sessions to Second Life Addicts, too. You can contact me anytime at the treatment center in Mejiro.
Take good care.~Jane
21 December 2006 12:19
Hey Bitch! So that's where I can find you, is it? Mejiro fucking counselling center for fuckwit Adult Avatars of God knows what crap abuse.
Now you listen to me, you cunt, I want your ass back in Second Life sharpish. That guv I sold you to is wanting to fuck you blindless, you Goddamn stupid onna.
If you ain't back in SL by Friday I'm gonna come and get you from that Goddamn counselling center. Bitch!~Toru
21 December 2006 12:23
See, serves you right, you interfering cow! I hope Toru blows your brains out. You really ought to mind your own business. And, as for Yoshi, I know where to find you. I know what you are up to, and I'm giving you until New Year to make an appearance.
Yes, I've heard you are trying to take on a real life, but you really are SAD. You are nothing more than a mere figment of my imagination, and you had better learn to live with that.~Mary
21 December 2006 12:28
I really want you to leave my husband alone. Yoshi and I were married just recently, and I am now pregnant. It is very hard for me and for Yoshi to find any peace of mind while you continue to harrass both him and me. If you don't stop the emails, the stalking, and the phone calls, I will really have to contact the police.~Emiko
21 December 2006 12:31
I'll do what I want. You are just a slag avatar from Second Life, and you are running away too. I know. I know who owns you, and I'll make sure he gets to know where you work and live. I know that you live in Shibuya, and I've seen you waiting at Hachiko for your Japanese-language students. Well, what you don't know is that I have planted a spy. One of my best friends is actually one of your students, and she is letting me know everything that you guys are up to. Yes, I've heard that you are thinking of moving to Kyoto in the New Year. Well, it won't happen. And, listen to this ... that baby of yours belongs to me, too.~Mary
I'm asking you Mary, and very nicely, to leave me and my wife alone. If you continue with the threats, I really will call the cops, and as I'm sure you know, it is no fun being inside a Japanese jail. If you dare hurt my wife, our baby, or continue to pester me, I will have to take other action too.
And, I should let you know that I have my own Yakuza connections here. I have recently made connections with the Yamaguchi-gumi gang in Osaka, and one of the guys there is ready to gun you down on the streets of Shinjuku any day soon. I just have to make the call to him. Toru is his name.
He has only one pinkie missing, so he obviously hasn't made too many mistakes during his gangland life.
Wishing you a happy and very peaceful 2007.~Yoshi
22 December 2006
You haven't heard the last of me, you swine, and don't think I'm scared of any trumped up Yakuza gangster from shit hole Osaka. I have "friend" here, too, and far smarter than your mate, I'm sure, my dear Yoshi.
Yes, you'll soon be hearing from my friend Shimon; he works for Mossad here.~Mary
22 December 2006
Shalom, Yoshi, and a happy Hannukah to you and your young, pretty wife Emiko. Mazal Tov on getting pregnant, Emiko.
But, it is a pity if the child don't get to live. Mevina?
Lehiterot!
Shimon
23 December 2006
Look, Mary, we have just had some very strange phone call from a fellow called Yoshi. He says that you are making his life a misery and that you are stalking him. He also says he is going to inform the Japanese police about it.
I want you to know that mum is very distressed about this. Really, at your age you ought to grow up and act more responsibly. It's about time you came home and settled down. It's also about time that you started helping looking after mum. She's really getting on and needs more help around the house.
Anyway, whatever all this nonsense is in Japan, I hope you will sort it out and stop pestering this poor man. He sounds like a decent chap, but he is obviously very distraught.
Have a good Christmas.~Elizabeth xx
24 December 2006
Are you causing trouble again? What is wrong with you? You are a real sicko, and mum can do without the stress of worring about you and whatever illegal activities you are getting up to in Japan. Liz says that you are threatening to pop someone off your end. Have you completely lost it? I think it's about time you came home, sis.~David
24 December 2006
Hey Yoshi, show us some of the real hard core porn manga, will ya. I've jerked off all I can to that stuff you have up. I wanna see some more of your Yamamba pink pussy.~Steve, Kansas, U.S. (God's country)
26 December 2006
This is a message for Jane. Jane, my name is Hiroko Watanabe, and I am a volunteer at the Tokyo Shelter for Avatar Victims of Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse. I am quite concerned about you, but understand that you are obviously a very smart avatar. However, I do want you to know that you are always welcome at our shelter should you need a refuge. We tend to get quite full up over the holiday period, but never turn away any female avatar in distress. As you are probably aware, we are not far from Kabukicho, the main redlight area at East Shinjuku. But, do be careful, because a good number of Yakuza hang out in this area and I quick to abduct young pretty avatars like yourself to work at their strip bars, lap-dancing clubs. Stay away from the Happy Sun pachinko parlours.
My thoughts are with you dear. I also realise that being a Western female avatar in Japan is far from easy. We have many avatars in our shelter from the West, as well as poorer nations in Asia; women who have been lured here by the Yakuza with the promise of high-paying jobs as waitresses. Of course, I am sure you are well aware of what happens to them. The sex-slave trade is a huge problem here and, unfortunately, the Japanese police tend not to be sympathetic to the plights of these avatars. In fact, quite often the police are working hand in hand with the gangsters themselves.~Watanabe H.
26 December 2006
Yoshi, I've lost my mobile phone, or somebody has taken it. I've had to flee from the counselling center. I'm terrified. Look, I saw that you have hired some Yakuza mobster named Toru. Probably it is not the same Toru as the one who created me, but be careful. Oh, my God, I'm paranoid now. If it is the same guy, he will definitely use you to track me down. What does he look like?~Jane
27 December 2006
Oh, Jane, we are so worried about you. I would invite you to come here, but what with me being pregnant and all the trouble with Mary. Look, it's so difficult, because I cannot even call you now. Try to get another cell phone soon, if you can. I hope that your other one is handed over to the cops. You should report it missing to the police, Jane. I just hope it hasn't fallen into bad hands. You know there's a lot of trouble here these days with Koreans and Chinese stealing mobile phones and things. Please call me, and soon, to let me know you are okay.~Emiko
27 December 2006
Jane, I only met Toru briefly, in a karaoke bar in Shinjuku san-chome. He seemed friendly enough for Yakuza. Mind you, I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him. I really cannot imagine that it is the same guy. It's just a coincidence, the name, I'm sure. Maybe all Yakuza guys call themselves Toru.
But just for your peace of mind: He was quite stout, had the usual punch-perm hairstyle, a knife scar down his right cheek and a missing little finger on his left hand. He wore a black satin suit, very 1970s his style, with an awful flowery shirt, pointy lapels. Oh, and he also wore a gold medallion. Anyway, he pretty well looked like most small-fry Yakuza. Lots of bling! YOu know what they are like.
Anyway, do call us and let us know that you are safe. You know, I really think you should try out that shelter for the holidays. It sounds like the best place until you get your Toru guy off your back.
Apart from that, I'm figuring that our counselling session tomorrow is cancelled, until this all blows over anyway.~Yoshi
27 December 2006 13:53
Hallo, I want to make a complaint about this blog and about the rascist woman called Emiko. I am a Chinese living and working in Japan for three years now and I am tired of all the rascist accusations made by Japanese avatars about Chinese avatars. I also have problems with Koreans because they stink too much of kimchi. Especially, I don't like the ones from South Korea. North Korean avatars are not so bad because they also understand the good, true Communist spirit of China. Please take down the comment by Emiko. Remember that Japan would have no culture if it was not for the greatness of China. We plan to smash Japan, to make you pay back for Nanjing crimes.~Lui Chien
29 December 2006
I agree with Lui Chien. Japanese avatars are rascist and spread lies about North Korean avatars and our wonderful leader Kim Jong-il, and his enlightened father, Kim Sung-il.
The Japanese avatars are always saying that we are abducting them and taking them off to Pyongyang to train our spy avatars. This is all propoganda spread by the imperialistic Japananese avatars and the capitalistic and barbaric US government. Koreans do not forget their history and what was done to them.
Also, we are sick of the ass-licking South Korean avatars for pandering up to the Japanese government of avatars.~Kim Dong-il
30 December 2006
This blog is not a forum for discussing political issues between different Asian avatars. Please find the right forum for your complaints. And, my wife has a right to express whatever views she likes. This is known as freedom of speach, something that avatars in Japan enjoy.~Yoshi
31 December 2006
Pity the American avatars didn't completely annihilate the Land of the Rising Sun when it dropped its atom bombs. Happy New Year, jerk.~Kim Dong-il
Jan. 1 2007
Sorry, but can you tell me where I can find a help group in Tokyo for Child Avatars of Second Life Addicts?~Anonymous in Chiba
Jan. 2 2007
Hey Yoshi, I think you are a big cry baby and a spoil sport. As a fellow male avatar, and as one who enjoys being in Second Life and being controlled by his creator, I have to say you need to get a life. Gee, real life, sucks. How boring! How middle of the road can you get? What kind of Japanese guy are you, man? You'll be going to live in fucking Illinois next, or will be dancing with those freak Yankee teddy boy guys in Harajuku.
Anyway, I reckon what Mary did to you was nothing. Real innocent. I'm into hentai, and I'll be glad when we Japanese avatars have our own Second Life. I hate putting up with all these stupid Christian sentiments from fucking Westerners. The reason we cannot show genitalia on Japanese porn is because of the stupid rules the American avatars imposed on Japan after the emperor avatar surrendered to them. Anyway, this is what I'm into. I support Sasami's right to express himself in Second Life. See:
http://www.alphavilleherald.com/archives/000559.html
Jan. 3 2007
Hey Yoshi, I think you are a big cry baby and a spoil sport. As a fellow male avatar, and as one who enjoys being in Second Life and being controlled by his creator, I have to say you need to get a life. Gee, real life, sucks. How boring! How middle of the road can you get? What kind of Japanese guy are you, man? You'll be going to live in fucking Illinois next, or will be dancing with those freak Yankee teddy boy guys in Harajuku.
Anyway, I reckon what Mary did to you was nothing. Real innocent. I'm into hentai, and I'll be glad when we Japanese avatars have our own Second Life. I hate putting up with all these stupid Christian sentiments from fucking Westerners. The reason we cannot show genitalia on Japanese porn is because of the stupid rules the American avatars imposed on Japan after the emperor avatar surrendered to them. Anyway, this is what I'm into. I support Sasami's right to express himself in Second Life. See:
http://www.alphavilleherald.com/archives/000559.html
Jan. 3 2007
Dear Anonymous in Chiba, I am presently trying to set up a group for Child Avatars of Second Life Addicts. Please call Yoshi on the Skype hotline (which you can find on this blog) and he will talk to you about when the first meeting will be. It is due to start in the New Year. If you don't want to speak to a male avatar, just ask to speak to me, Emiko.
Jan. 4 2007
Who is that sicko who put up that link for the hentai porn? I really hate avatars who post to forums and don't leave their name. Anyway, this avatar ought to be shot, so should that Sasami guy. I am a Born Again Christian avatar and support good Christian values in Second Life. I think there should be far greater control on what goes on inside SL. Yoshi, I want you to know that I think it is absolutely dreadful what that woman Mary put you through. Avatar creators like that should really be dealt with by the courts and then locked up. I am presently discussing a number of avatar abuse issues with the owners of Linden Lab, and I do hope that they will crack down on the perverts.~Martin Whitehouse (avatar son of Mary Whitehouse)
Jan. 10 2007
Hi Yoshi, I just want to say that I was really surprised to see this blog and what is going on with you and Mary. I actually know Mary, and I am familiar with you through a lecture you gave at BB University. At that time you seemed quite happy with Mary, and also seemed to be enjoying your status as a pan-sexual male in SL. I got the impression that as an avatar, you were pretty well up for anything. In fact, you yourself at that time boasted about being into hentai yourself. Don't you think you are being somewhat hypercritical? Isn't it rather bad of you to be blackening Mary's name when it seems she very much gave you the freedom to express yourself in BB. I think you are somewhat ungrateful. Are you really so innocent as you would like us to believe? I don't think you are being completely honest with avatars/SL creators, or even with yourself.~Outraged student of BB University, Leicester, UK
If I had my way, all the Christian avatars in Second Life would be rounded up with the homosexuals and put to death in gas chambers.~Herr Adolf Schmuckleburger (see me in SL at Studio 54 every Friday night Pacific Time)
Dear Outraged BB Uni student, Yes, it may have appeared to you that I was happy with my life as an avatar when I gave a presentation at your university. But I want you to know that I was under a lot of pressure from Mary to go along with that interview, and that she was constantly behind the scenes manipulating me. It was really after I talked at BB Uni that the emotional/physical and sexual abuse started. I don't know what it was in Mary's life that was spurring her on to abuse me so much at that time. I can only imagine that she herself was also suffering a great deal because of her addiction to SL. Mary may seem normal to you, but really she has a very dark personality and is quite unwell. I think that it is good that she is now in Second Life Addicts Anonymous, and that in itself should convince you that she recognizes her own weakness. In fact, her addiction is more of a disease than anything else.
But I really want you to know that Mary has caused me a lot of pain in my life, and she continues to do so. You only have to read some of her posts on this very blog to see that she is a very troubled woman.
I wish you the best with your studies at BB.~Yoshi
Hi Yoshi, I really want to tell you that I do not appreciate the way you are sucking up to my university friends and spreading malicious stories about me, and making me out to be the baddie in all of this.
I also want to remind you that you are constantly breaking Tradition 12. I have a right to remain anonymous both in and out of the SLA rooms. You are breaking my anonymity, and I don't know what that is about.
I'm telling you boy, this game will soon be up. You better come back and kowtow to me quite soon, or else ...
Mary
Hi Yoshi, I really want to tell you that I do not appreciate the way you are sucking up to my university friends and spreading malicious stories about me, and making me out to be the baddie in all of this.
I also want to remind you that you are constantly breaking Tradition 12. I have a right to remain anonymous both in and out of the SLA rooms. You are breaking my anonymity, and I don't know what that is about.
I'm telling you boy, this game will soon be up. You better come back and kowtow to me quite soon, or else ...
Mary
Or else what, babe? I'm watching you. I've got your number too. I've got a big surprise coming up for you quite soon. Baka gaijin onna!
Sayonara for now.~Toru
Hi Yoshi, I apologise to you for posting messages on your site. I noticed that my brother did too. Sorry, neither of us are particularly familiar with blogs and websites, and forums, or even email really. Anyway, I wanted you to see that my mother, my brother and myself are taking your phone calls seriously. I have also just spoken again to Mary on the phone, and I have to say that I am really worried about my sister. She sounds quite psychotic. It really might be best if you did call the police and got you and your wife some kind of protection.
I am so sorry for all the trouble that my sister has caused. If truth be told, Mary has always been very difficult. The black sheep of our family. Probably bad blood, you know. She has never really fitted in, and I think a lot of the trouble stems from the fact that she was adopted as a baby. Your leaving her may bring up old feelings of abandonment. I'm really not sure. I'm not a psychologist, or anything. Anyway, she certainly does not sound particularly well balanced at the moment. We really despair of her this end.~Elizabeth
Yoshi is a big sissy. Yeah, I met him in Second Life and he moans on about what he was put through. Hey, Yoshi, seemed to me that you got off on all that bestiality stuff. What's with the change of 'tude, brother?
Check this one out with your misses:
http://sites.top07.com/zoo/
~Zamu
Wicked, man, loved that site. It's what the Internet is all about, heh?
Yeah, you're a bit of a fuck wit Yoshi, man. I don't buy that a guy avatar can get bullied about by some RL woman. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, man. And, I figure becoming a Real Lifer is a cop out, too. You're a loser, Yosh.
Stand up and be counted, like a true avatar.~Black Knight
Yoshi, I must warn you to be careful. You will be come very vulnerable to Zamu again. He is casting spells to lure you back into Second Life. Mary's powers over you could also stand to draw you back into the virtual world before the Wintere is over. However, please be careful around February. Once we enter the full moon in Neptune in the Year of the Boar, the psychic forces of Zamu will become extraordinarly irresistable to you. There is no Chinese Year of the Bear, thank God, because this would make Zamu impossible to fight against, but she does have the power to metamorphose into whatever astrological beast she so wishes. Zamu will change genders too to fool you. Please, please be careful. I will send you another spell and some amulets for added protection. In the meantime, I suggest you go to Meiji shrine and offer prayers to the Kami. Also, write out an emma plaque, begging the gods to protect you, Emiko and your soon-to-be-born baby.~Majo
Ah Majo, Now I have a bone to pick with you. How dare you cast spells on me so that I end up having sex with some old crone. I am speaking to my lawyers right now, and I intend to sue you for setting me up.~Jake
Matsukami-san, I am the director of the counselling center in Mejiro. We are very concerned about the fact that one of our cyberpsychiatrists, Jane Swinbourne, has had to leave because her life is in danger. I received a very strange phone call last night from a rather angry-sounding thug with a strong Osaka accent. He is claiming that he has kidnapped Jane, and is demanding a ransom of 50 million yen. I thought it was a hoax at first, but when she fled from the counselling center yesterday she mentioned that her cell phone was missing. The call I received was made to my cellphone, and the number of the phone used to call me was Jane's mobile. I am extremely anxious, and wonder if other friends of Jane's know anything. I have reported the matter to the police, but you know how indifferent the Japanese police avatars here are to Western female avatars. Anyway, I am hoping that the well-being of any of her clients is not threatened. Please feel free to contact me, especially as this may be a very distressing time for you too. Also, do not hesitate to contact the police if you are being threatened in any way.~Suzuki Matsuko
Hi Yoshi, I hear that you are a successful real estate lawyer in Tokyo and that you help Japanese wishing to purchase properties in the U.S. and Europe. Anshe Chung Studios is looking to employ someone of your calibre in the New Year, however, this will involve you working both in-world and outside SL. I've been told that you recently left Second Life and are now living a Real Life. Well, I hope I can persuade you to change your mind. Give me a call and let's discuss the matter, or pop into my in-world offices some time in February. I'm sure I can offer you a very attractive contract and salary. I'll let you name your figure.~Anshe Chung
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2006/12/05/1165080951499.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1
Hey Yosh, don't go doing business with that crazy Chinese bitch Chung, not unless you want some kind of trouble like this:
http://www.secondlifeinsider.com/2006/12/20/never-throw-your-penis-at-a-millionaire/
Thought you might be sensitive about having your male avatarhood lopped off. Hahahahaha!~ T.V. Shmuck
Yoshi Matsukami, you are a dead avatar! Believe me you'll never live a Real Life long enough to see your avatar kid born.~The Black Spot
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